I got into a nasty habit a while back relating to the words I used to use. Basically friends, colleagues and associates would ask how I was going and my standard response would be something along the lines of “I am so busy I can’t do anymore. It’s ridiculous, I am working really long hours, not sure if I am getting where I am going and certainly not looking for any more clients”. I developed this response from being a very busy person for a number of years.
A few things started to happen that made me realise I was heading down a dangerous road. One day I actually listened to what I was saying when a friend asked me the question and I realised I answered in my standard tirade without even stopping to think how I was going. Their eyes glazed over as the tirade began, my brain went off somewhere else and this funny but negative little interaction continued. I was reinforcing this belief and now I realised it.
The second most notable thing to happen was that people stopped referring me clients. I noticed that my referral rate was dropping and at first I thought that maybe I was doing something wrong – well I was but it wasn’t what I thought. I asked a few close colleagues whey weren’t referring new clients to me, expecting to hear some bad news. They looked at me quite surprised and said “Andrew you are always so busy and we didn’t want to send you any more clients because you made it clear you didn’t want any more”.
What a realisation? I had to rebuild my entire thought and speak process and retrain myself. To do this I made a list of the words, phrases, terms or quotes that I used that were negative and there were quite a few on the list. I made a commitment to myself to stop using them from that day on and I did. In fact as soon as I started to use a “standard response” of any kind I stopped talking, regained my thoughts and then continued.
Eventually I didn’t need my list, so I took it off the wall and burned it and I suggest you do the same. If we tell people often enough that life is horrible, its so hard to run your own business, staff are terrible, the market is terrible or we are doing it tough financially, we materialise these thoughts into reality.
If you turn these negatives into positives, the results are astounding. My rate of referral has gone through the roof and I will never moan about how busy I am ever again.
What can you do today? Make up your own list of negative terms, words, phrases or quotes that are limiting you. Make a conscious effort to eliminate them from your life and replace them with positive, energetic and enthusiastic responses. Then when you are ready, burn the list of the old limiting words, you will never need them again.