26 June 2007

Don’t be a victim and keep people who play victim out of your life

I had one of those unusual childhoods – I grew up as an orphan, living with a host of different people during my formative years – some people were great, some not so great. I had a lot of violence inflicted upon me, I had situations where I trusted in people that I shouldn’t have, I had a lot of people who I developed very close bonds with who died. But not once have I ever felt like a victim.

Life deals us all different blows and we can choose to focus on these or we can focus on the good things that happen. I choose to focus on the good. I am not saying for a second that there haven’t been times when the going got rough, but it has got me through a lot of situations and a challenging start to life that many others may not have survived.

As a result of this, I am very compassionate and empathetic with anyone going through a rocky road. But some people wallow in the role of the victim – everything bad is someone else’s fault and they are going to wear the title of “victim” with pride. Victims attract other victims and the cycle becomes self perpetuating.

Ironically I have found that the people who may have the most right to wear a “victim” badge rarely do. They are too busy getting on with life.

The easiest things for me to do would be to store anger and resentment at a host of people who either hurt me, abandoned me or used me. But without those people I wouldn’t have turned out who I am today – and I am pretty darn happy with who I am today.

We all face trying times, family problems, relationship problems, money problems and health problems – that is life. But playing victim won’t make them go away. Focus on the good things in your life, learn from your experiences and move on. Keep people who play victim out of your life and you will soon find positive and enthusiastic people will replace them – and your life will become a lot better.

WHAT CAN YOU DO TODAY? Are you playing victim in your life? Are there people around you who support the victim mentality. Well today is the day to throw the “victim” badge away and get on with your life.

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